Signs
Fate's Definitely laughing so hard at my face now for trying to fight him. Laughing so hard that he's crapping his pants as i blog about my feelings. And so everything is repeating. Just like before. The Signs are showing. Slowly.. drifting. Its gonna happen soon. When I'm in camp. Just like before. Sigh. I have to relive this a 2nd time. Just for me to learn, learn from my mistakes. My past is catching up to me. Always have been. So does my past mistakes. Catching up to me. Slowly and slowly eating me up inside, like a weeds growing.. spiraling around a plant. Affecting every single thing in my future. I've always asked why this ? why that ? I guess i should learn to not ask anymore.
Not ask why am i feeling this way.
Not ask why am i reliving this.
Not ask why is she feeling that way.
Not ask why cant i have it my way.
Not ask why cant i have what i want.
Not ask why didn't i appreciate what was in front of me.
Not ask why cant everything be as it was
Not ask why cant things have an happy ending
I should just stop asking why and take things as it is. I'll never be too tired to know that I've have given it my heart and soul. I'm not afraid to say that despite everything fate throws at me, I still am gonna stand up on my own 2 feet and walk this path. This path where I would fight fate, because i believe that, Nothing is set in stone. We all build our own path and decide on what and how we want things to end up. Its the choices we make that will decide our fate. Not 'Fate' Himself. If you would ask me why i choose to not be independent, I would answer you this..
Not ask why am i feeling this way.
Not ask why am i reliving this.
Not ask why is she feeling that way.
Not ask why cant i have it my way.
Not ask why cant i have what i want.
Not ask why didn't i appreciate what was in front of me.
Not ask why cant everything be as it was
Not ask why cant things have an happy ending
I should just stop asking why and take things as it is. I'll never be too tired to know that I've have given it my heart and soul. I'm not afraid to say that despite everything fate throws at me, I still am gonna stand up on my own 2 feet and walk this path. This path where I would fight fate, because i believe that, Nothing is set in stone. We all build our own path and decide on what and how we want things to end up. Its the choices we make that will decide our fate. Not 'Fate' Himself. If you would ask me why i choose to not be independent, I would answer you this..
I wouldn't wanna be independent because..
I wanna feel what its like to depend on someone I love
I wanna feel what its like to fight for someone I love
I wanna feel what its like to feel hurt, lost and jaded without that special someone
I wanna feel what its like to be important to someone special
I wanna feel what its like to be someone's pillar of strength
Lastly..
I wanna know what its like to be loved by you <3
This to me, is how i know.. I've really love you and I need you :(
With all due respect, I was never against you. Like i said. I've wanted the best for you. Your happiness. Even if I'm not in that Future Family picture of yours. I know it's been a rough and hard couple of months for you. I wont blame you.I guess I'm glad I was able to make a difference in your life. Sigh. I wished i could've been better for you. I wished i can do something to ease that pain of yours. Do something to help you cope with everything. Rather than make you even more confused with my presence. I'm still gonna give my 110% no matter how things look. I know I'm not gonna give up. No matter what. But.. When I'm in camp, and its time.. I'll know what to do. I suppose its for the better of things. I guess that okay..
... I hope I'm wrong.
I wanna feel what its like to depend on someone I love
I wanna feel what its like to fight for someone I love
I wanna feel what its like to feel hurt, lost and jaded without that special someone
I wanna feel what its like to be important to someone special
I wanna feel what its like to be someone's pillar of strength
Lastly..
I wanna know what its like to be loved by you <3
This to me, is how i know.. I've really love you and I need you :(
With all due respect, I was never against you. Like i said. I've wanted the best for you. Your happiness. Even if I'm not in that Future Family picture of yours. I know it's been a rough and hard couple of months for you. I wont blame you.I guess I'm glad I was able to make a difference in your life. Sigh. I wished i could've been better for you. I wished i can do something to ease that pain of yours. Do something to help you cope with everything. Rather than make you even more confused with my presence. I'm still gonna give my 110% no matter how things look. I know I'm not gonna give up. No matter what. But.. When I'm in camp, and its time.. I'll know what to do. I suppose its for the better of things. I guess that okay..
... I hope I'm wrong.
<< Home