RAWRR!!

Things i said here and now might affect some people or whatever they choose to think. i just wanna take the load of my shoulders.

Note:Whatever i say here is the nicest way i could ever put it.

Things havent been going well for me lately but im not complaining. seriously im not. i just need to say it all out. okay few days back. i got my cash from my dad to get my crumpler then head of to crumpler boutique to get my super hot black crumpler. but when i got there. it was sold out. what the sales lady said that it was an OLD COLOUR!. HOW CAN BLACK BE AN OLD COLOUR? RAWRR! that totally spoiled my whole day. rawrr! when i thought that particular was the most PERFECT day ever!.

Life just has its way to rearing its ugly head at me. i just hate it when life gives me this fucking hard choices that i cant really make. its a lose lose situation for me. Why must it so unfair to me? its been a couple of times but i tried to contain it as much as i can. but there's still limits to how much one can take.

Baby has been enduring stuffs with her mom. She's not doing well over there i can tell you. HER MOM. hmmmm where should i start? her mom recently got sick and blah blah. baby was the only one home to take care of her. i have no idea where her Mooneraa sister was and i dont wanna know either. she's been taking care of her mom for a few days now. making her feel comfortable, getting her stuffs she wanted and MAN!! was she good at taking care of her mom. i soo proud of ya. after a few days her slight fever resided and she was all better. just a few days after that. baby got scolded. i can say pretty bad. Her mom told her that she should think about our relationship and think whether she should go on with me. I seriously dunno what to say. it hurts me just to talk about it. Her mom said about she cannot see mee soo much anymore. i was lyk WTF*sigh*

lemme just say this. if its wrong to ask for something you want, and wrong if you just stood there in the dark not saying anything at all, what option is there left? i really am soo fed up with soo many of this unfair choices in life. i myself having trouble trying to contain and go thru with this thing. i know she's feelling about the same on how i feel bt here goes. now her mom has to be freaking unreasonable. she HAS been doing the housework and SHE has been taking care of you and SHE has been there for you all along. so why cant you just cut her some slack?. Its always been what you think and not what she thinks. Isnt it just unfair? im not siding her coz she's my gf but listen to ureself. shes been the perfect daughther to you and yet you being so SHITTY to her. you certainly dont appreaciate what a good daugther you have. Now her mom says that we shouldnt meet that often. and she being unfair to her own daughther is adding on to there pressure that's already on her. im really sorry this had to happen to you. i myself am suffering on the other end. i miss you soo much.. and i cant see you that often anymore. and this is just the begining. when it comes to puase, i think i'll just kill myself.

maybe i should just lay off her for a while. what can i do? its her mom. i cant do anything. bt just Be mad at myself for whatever reasons. Great now i have a fever on. and i still gotta do my library duty today. how FUN. thank god my studies are alright this term. NO wait? what's god? i dun pray remember. what can he do to help me? i dun even pray to him. guess i'll just have Hope and faith. that's has and always will be the only thing i can depend on. When it comes to malay problems and religious stuffs. i know i suck. that's the reason why i've been getting away from anything got to do with it. i respect the religion and i dun wanna anyhow say stuffs. fine im in a mess now. and did i say i had fever? yea i did. and its getting worst. i slept on the classroom floor for three periods.

Fever resided the day after. but i still feel bad. things will never be the same again. went school with alot on my head. its making my headaches worst. i've been speaking things out in my head and try to figure things out. but lately its not been working out.

Ps: thanks blog. you've always been a good help and forever will be.
P.P.S: I really hope something happens to you and then it'll be too late for you to realise then you'll REGRET!